Inauguration Day

Every four, or in some cases, eight years, Americans watch as a newly elected President is sworn into office. It's an exciting time as people wonder, "What will the next four years bring?" Alas, for me, this new leadership brings no such hope. You see, I voted for a candidate whose name was unfairly kept off the ballots. That's right. I voted for a true American hero, Garfield the cat. You see, unlike the more traditional HUMAN candidates, Garfield offered real hope to those of us who are decidedly more feline in our politics. Garfield understood that truly great leaders nap for at least 16 hours a day. When they're not napping, great leaders are eating because food is that important. Finally, Garfield has never been afraid to turn to available resources, and by available resources I mean television, for wisdom in making important decisions. And now, if you'll excuse me, I think I will go drown my sorrows in a gallon of ice cream!