Happy New Year????

Can you believe that New Year's Day is my neighbor Bob's favorite holiday? Unbelievable! I mean, as far as I understand, there is no food at all involved in the celebration of this holiday. In fact, this holiday always has the exact opposite effect on my human, Miss R. For reasons I fail to understand, this is the time of year when she completely purges her cupboards of all the deliciously fattening baked goods and candy that have been gathering there since Halloween and replaces them with..............vegetables! Vegetables? Really?! What is the point of that?! What's worse? Every January 1, she renews her efforts to "help" me "realize my fitness goals." What can she be thinking? This year in her misguided efforts, she replaced my huge, sturdy food dishes with a teeny tiny one that barely has any room for all the food required to nourish a big boy like me. Supposedly, the smaller dish will trick me into thinking I'm eating more than the mere pittance she is allowing me. Seriously, all her dieting seems to have shrunken her brain cells! I'd write more about all the reasons I can't stand this time of year, but my energy has completely dwindled away due to lack of proper nourishment. Somebody please, FEED ME!