How I Spent My Weekend

How I Spent My Weekend
Originally uploaded by rotzjannette2000

It's what I do, folks.

That Is SO NOT Me!

All right...all right. I get that Miss R. thinks I need to take my diet seriously. I know that she's worried for my health and well-being and that she doesn't exactly appreciate my tendency to throw things around the apartment whenever I panic at the sight of the bottom of my food dish. Still, did she have to post THIS video to my blog? I mean, really. That cat looks nothing like me! AND.....I've never really gotten stuck in my pet door. It just takes me a bit longer than some cats to squeeze through. I see I'm going to have to write Miss R. a strongly worded letter of complaint. Of all the cheeky.....

February 20, 2009

Dear Kids,

I have so been enjoying all your comments. You really are pretty smart, especially for humans!



I see from your weekly letters that you're reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by Mr. C.S. Lewis who is one of my favorite writers. Who is your favorite character? I'm particularly fond of the hero, Aslan. You know, I don't like bragging, but lots of humans and felines have pointed out that I bear a striking similarity to the novel's main hero. Adjectives used to describe Aslan can also be used to describe me. We're both feline, noble, handsome, brave, beautiful, big, and loving. Nonetheless, I really don't like to brag.



Love,

Oliver

Valentine's Day

My upstairs neighbor, Bob, received his Valentine's Day gift a little early this year.  His human worried that Bob might be lonely while he was away at work all day so he brought home a new kitty whose name, coincidentally, is Kitty.  Bob had been hoping for the complete collection of Bunnicula books, so when Kitty showed up instead,  well you can imagine how bitterly disappointed Bob became.  From the way he described her, I pictured someone wretched-looking. You can imagine my surprise then when Kitty finally got over her shyness and strolled out to join Bob on her deck.  Bob just rolled his eyes at her sudden appearance, but I could not stop staring at her from where I was sunning myself on my own deck.  Blame it on the holiday, but the way the sun shone like a halo around her....  well, see for yourself.  She's simply stunning!  I am determined to win her over and I think I've discovered just the way to do it.  I'm going to recite beautiful poems to her.  I found this lovely Valentine's Day poem written by someone named Myra Cohn Livingston and I've been working on memorizing it.  Kitty doesn't stand a chance!

An Angry Valentine

If you won't be my Valentine

I'll scream, I'll yell, I'll bite.

I'll cry aloud, I'll start to whine

If you won't be my Valentine.

I'll frown, I'll fret, I'll mope and pine and

It will serve you right---

If you won't be my Valentine

I'll scream, I'll yell, I'll Bite!!

-Myra Cohn Livingston

On the off chance that things don't work out with Kitty, I may just have to marry I.L. instead. She's a student in Miss R.'s class who gave me the most delicious Valentine ever....my favorite canned cat food!  Miss R. didn't even get me anything, but luckily I.L. remembered me.

Inauguration Day

Every four, or in some cases, eight years, Americans watch as a newly elected President is sworn into office. It's an exciting time as people wonder, "What will the next four years bring?" Alas, for me, this new leadership brings no such hope. You see, I voted for a candidate whose name was unfairly kept off the ballots. That's right. I voted for a true American hero, Garfield the cat. You see, unlike the more traditional HUMAN candidates, Garfield offered real hope to those of us who are decidedly more feline in our politics. Garfield understood that truly great leaders nap for at least 16 hours a day. When they're not napping, great leaders are eating because food is that important. Finally, Garfield has never been afraid to turn to available resources, and by available resources I mean television, for wisdom in making important decisions. And now, if you'll excuse me, I think I will go drown my sorrows in a gallon of ice cream!

On Appreciation

Dear Kids,
You're so lucky you get to read such great books. I really enjoy Roahld Dahl. Matilda is great, but Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorites. Imagine, a book dedicated to chocolate! Does reading get any better? I admit Mr. Wonka seems a bit strange, but you know what they say! "A genius is never appreciated in his or her own time." I think that's why no one has yet built a statue of me. I must be such a genius that I am not appreciated at all.

What was your favorite part of the book?

Love,
Oliver

Happy New Year

At least, I can still wish YOU a happy 2009. I fear the new year will hold no such joy for me. You see, Dear Readers, my human Miss R. has done something horrible. I know. It's hard to believe. She seems so nice. Yet, last night while she was thinking of New Year Resolutions she said a very bad word. A naughty word. A word I hoped never to hear. That's right, my Human Kittens. Miss R. said...." Diet!" And she wasn't just talking about herself. No, indeed. Miss R. is putting me....me...ME....beautiful, fluffy me... on a diet! Oh, the horrors! It's simply unimaginable! Nonetheless, I have evidence....proof solid....of this wretched crime! I found the diet cat food in the cupboard. She's been secretly mixing it with my Christmas Fancy Feast for a week, hoping I wouldn't notice and that I would become accostumed to the taste when she completed the switch. Sooo devious. I'm seriously thinking about going on a hunger strike until Miss R relents and goes back to my regular food. Yes, that's it. A hunger strike. Right after lunch. Mmmmmm....lunch.....mmmmm....Fancy Feast.