Shhhh...

...I'm hiding from Miss R.

Weekly Letter

June 19, 2009

Dear Kids,

I can't believe the school year is almost over. What an adventure it has been. Why, if it hadn't been for you, I might never have become famous in the blogosphere. I will miss you and your comments full of wisdom and, in the case of Agent 86, sarcasm.

I am curious. What has been your favorite part of second grade? What advice about what to expect in second grade do you have for this year's first graders ? What will you miss most? To what are you looking forward in third grade? And, what are your summer plans?

I myself will be enormously busy this summer. (And, no fat jokes about the word "enormously" please.) I plan to spend a lot of time napping in sun beams, followed with more naps next to my food dish, followed with more food, followed by naps, then food, then more food, then naps. I like to end my busy days with a senseless, wild rampaging romp tearing mindlessly around the apartment before I collapse in some random spot. Miss R. always seems to be trying to figure out why I tear about the apartment for several minutes like a Tazmanian Devil every night. The funny thing is.....there is no reason. I just like to keep her guessing!

Love,

Oliver

PS Have a great summer!

Happy Birthday, Junies!

Miss Rotz informs me that quite a few of the kids in Room 203 have birthdays this month. I can't believe so many of you are turning 8! Soon you won't be Human Kittens anymore. Tell me. How do Human Kittens celebrate their birthdays? I'm curious as a cat. (Get it?) Do you eat yummy tuna-salmon birthday cakes? Do you get new catnip toys? Do your friends come over and take naps in the sun? Even if you're birthday isn't this month, I'd love to read about your best birthday ever!

PS A very special Happy Birthday to Kai in Mrs. M's class. Kai turned 10 yesterday. Double digits, way to go!

Dedicated to Student #3

This is for everyone to enjoy, even though it's way past Easter, but it's especially for C.B. who often asks to see the
Chocolate Bunny Attack! @ Yahoo! Video
">Attack of the Chocolate Bunnies

Weekly Letter

May 15, 2009

Dear Kids,

How was Young Authors Day? I'm so glad it finally came. YAD is one of Miss R.'s favorite days of the school year, and she has been impossible to live with these last few weeks because she was so anxious for it.

Which of the three sessions did you like the best and why? Which is your favorite book Ted Arnold? Hmmmm....I've just reading them myself, so I'll have to get back to you on which book I like best.

Love,

Oliver

A Relaxing Start to the Weekend

Aaaah.....there is nothing, and I mean nothing, like the sweet smell of a sweaty shoe fresh off the feet of your favorite human. Thank goodness, Miss R. has such big feet so I can cram my head completely inside her favorite footwear and get a full, relaxing whiff. Heaven.

April 16, 2009

April 17, 2009

Dear Kids,

Did you all enjoy your spring breaks? What did you all do? I admit it was nice having Miss R. around for a few extra days. I rather like having a slave.....er....I mean, a servant at my beck and call. Lately, she has really gotten rusty, and by rusty I really mean lazy.

Take this morning for example. Miss R. usually gets up before 5AM so she can squeeze in some time on the treadmill. I don't mind giving her a little treadmill time as long as she remembers to feed me first! Well, this morning, Miss R. decided to sleep in while I nearly starved to death next to my half-empty food dish. I figured she might need some help waking up, so I ever so generously began to meow. Do you know how that lazy girl responded? She growled, yes growled, at me. "Oliver, knock it off. There's plenty of food in your dish. Eat what you've got or wait until I get up." The nerve! I needed to remind her who was boss. I started shoving my food dish across the kitchen floor making sure to hit all the walls and the garbage can, making as much noise as possible. "OOOOOLLLLLIIIIIVVVVVEEEEER!!!" screamed Miss R. Well, that got her attention.

"Meow," I gently replied. I listened for the pitter patter of human feet moving towards the cat food. Instead I heard........SNORING?!?!?!?!?!?!? How dare she go back to sleep. It was time to teach the teacher a lesson. I was going to take Miss R. to school. I walked over to the welcome mat near the front door and I did what any wise cat would do in my position. I pooped. Then I waited for Miss R. to smell my anger and come running out of her room. Hah! It worked. "OOOOLLLLIIIVVVVVEERR!!!!!" she bellowed. Well, at least now I was getting the recognition I deserved. As she rounded the corner and came storming into the front entry way, I sensed perhaps a little anger on her part. OK. I sensed a lot of anger. Time to hightail it out of there. Like a fat, orange bullet, I shot pasther into her room and out the pet door. I waited until I was sure she had cleaned up the stinky remains of my indignation before I sauntered back into the kitchen. I looked at her face to see if she was still angry. Hhhhmmmm. She wasn't happy. That was for sure. I tried a pitiful, little, "Mieeuuuw?"

"Fine," she grumbled as she mixed my Fancy Feast in with dry cat food. Finally! I quickly gobbled my morning feast. Miss R. went back to bed and was sleeping in no time flat. I waited until I was sure she was completely out and then jumped onto her face to let her know how much I appreciated her slave labour....er.....I mean.....work.

Hmmmm......as you can no doubt tell by this morning's disappointing mealtime, Miss R. needs a lot more training if she's going to be any use as my slave....er....servant....er.....human. Wait until summer vacation. I'll whip her into shape then.

Love,

Oliver