Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

At least, I can still wish YOU a happy 2009. I fear the new year will hold no such joy for me. You see, Dear Readers, my human Miss R. has done something horrible. I know. It's hard to believe. She seems so nice. Yet, last night while she was thinking of New Year Resolutions she said a very bad word. A naughty word. A word I hoped never to hear. That's right, my Human Kittens. Miss R. said...." Diet!" And she wasn't just talking about herself. No, indeed. Miss R. is putting, fluffy me... on a diet! Oh, the horrors! It's simply unimaginable! Nonetheless, I have evidence....proof solid....of this wretched crime! I found the diet cat food in the cupboard. She's been secretly mixing it with my Christmas Fancy Feast for a week, hoping I wouldn't notice and that I would become accostumed to the taste when she completed the switch. Sooo devious. I'm seriously thinking about going on a hunger strike until Miss R relents and goes back to my regular food. Yes, that's it. A hunger strike. Right after lunch. Mmmmmm....lunch.....mmmmm....Fancy Feast.


  1. Hello Oliver,

    Oh, I can't believe the pain your belly must be going through. If you lose weight how do you stay warm?
    The scarier thought is.....
    If you lose weight you will have more energy.
    If you have more energy you will sleep less.
    If you sleep less then you will move move.
    If you move more you will LOSE MORE WEIGHT!!
    It will be a terible never ending circle.

    What will you do?
    Good luck Oliver!!

  2. Dear Oliver,

    I feel bad for you, but you do need to lose weight, alot!! diet is NOT a bad word. Cats do not run for president. Do you like Garfield? Guess who I am. MCB

  3. dear oliver i bet you go to the bathroom lucky your not a vegitarian,there people that eat no meat,and be lucky you can listen to good music and not that jazz stuff.i hope you find a way to sneak goodies and stuff like that,well see ya later sincerly the good kid

  4. Dear MCB,
    Your initials are a mystery to me. Perhaps they stand for Miss Cookie Bear? I love cookies. But what do you mean by saying that Cats can't run for President. How fair is that? My personal hero, Garfield and I are both appalled and saddened by the suggestion. Perhaps some cookies to make us feeling better?

  5. Dear Good Kid,
    I am actually uncomfortable discussing my bathroom habits unless, of course, I'm registering a complaint with Miss R near the front door. Don't tell Miss R., but I have a secret stash of goodies hidden under the bed.