Saturday, December 5, 2009

My Favorite Things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things.......

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Forgive me, boys and girls in Room 110, but my neighbor Bob has been humming that song for the last few days and now I can't get the melody out of my furry, little brain. Seriously, what kind of cat sings songs about dogs biting?! Bob is a strange one, indeed, but I do love this time of year. Miss R. has FINALLY decorated our apartment for the holidays and everything looks so pretty and festive. I like it best when she sets up the McDonaldland toy train set around the trunk of the Christmas tree. She got that train set when she was younger than all of you, and she only brings it out this time of year. I love it because it gets me daydreaming of trains full of Big Macs and Quarter Pounders being delivered right to my favorite napping spot. You read that right. I love to nap beneath the tree. The lights don't bother me at all, because you see, Christmas trees remind Miss Rotz of Christmas gifts and seeing me beneath the tree reminds her of buying gifts for me. Ooooh, I hope she buys me a train full of Big Macs and Quarter Pounders.....mmmmmmm.

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Thursday, November 12, 2009


The days are dwindling down to my very favorite holiday of the year.  Can you guess which one that is?  Of course, I am talking about Thanksgiving.  Who couldn't love a holiday that celebrates eating?  However, my neighbor Bob insists that Thanksgiving is not about food at all, but rather is about "giving thanks."  Indeed, Bob has begun spending a few moments each morning on his deck to "reflect" as he calls it, on something for which he is thankful.  "It puts me in the right frame of mind for the upcoming holiday," he insists.  "You should follow my example, Oliver.  After all, you do want to be thankful, don't you?"

Well, duh...of course, I'm thankful.  I'm thankful for turkey.  I'm thankful for mashed potatoes and gravy.  I'm thankful for stuffing....oooooh, yes....stuffing!  I'm also thankful for pumpkin pie and apple cider and cranberry sauce.  Ooooh, the list just goes on and on.

How about you?  What are some things for which you are thankful?

Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween

Aaaaah....poor Bob. Bob is my neighbor and every Halloween his human insists on dressing him up in costumes. Each year's seems even more humiliating then the previous one. Bob was relieved when his human said that this year he would only have to wear a mask. Then he saw this monstrosity and in his own words feels, "utterly ridiculous." Boy, am I glad that Miss R. never dresses me up for this holiday. I am curious. What are you all wearing for Halloween thisyear?

Friday, October 23, 2009

A Prolific Reader

Aaaaah...the classics. Over the centuries, great writers have enriched our lives with wonderful works of literature. This list of classic authors is long indeed and includes names like Shakespeare, Mark Twain, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Roahld Dahl and, of course, Jim Davis creator of the Garfield series. Indeed, in the character of Garfield we have one of literature's finest heroes, a feline of immense proportions whose greatness is surpassed only by his appetite. This morning I enjoyed a few pages out of my newest book, "Garfield Eats His Heart Out." The book was a gift from OT #17 in Miss R,'s room, clearly a child prodigy whose understanding of fine books equals his taste in fine pets. Reading of Garfield's heroic adventures has inspired me  I'm curious.  Who are some of your favorite writers?  What books have you enjoyed lately? 
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Friday, September 25, 2009

September 25, 2009

Dear Boys and Girls,

How was your In-Class Movie Lunch party?  What movie did you watch?  Did it have cats in it?  I think the best movies have cats starring in them.  In fact, I'm thinking of becoming an actor myself.  I am going to send the above photo to my agent.  I'm thinking of auditioning for the role of Garfield.  Do you think I have what it takes?

Friday, September 11, 2009

A Letter

September 11, 2009
Dear Kids,
I hear from Miss R. that you have been very busy in class these past few weeks. I am curious. Do you have a favorite subject that you like to study? My favorite subject changes every day. Today I would pick Science for my favorite because you are studying insects and I love insects......lightly steamed with a bit of salt and butter.....mmmmm....insects!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Miss R. tells me you've been reading a book by one of my favorite writers, Roald Dahl. Matilda has lots of funny parts, and interesting characters. My favorite character is Matilda because she is extraordinarily brilliant, just like me. I think Matilda and I would get along just fine. Who is your favorite character in the book? Tell me about your favorite part of the story and don't forget to tell me why you like it.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Welcome Back

Hey Boys and Girls,
Welcome back to school! How exciting to have a new building. What do you like best about your classroom? I can't wait to meet all of you.


Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Furminator

Readers of my blog know that I am by nature a modest cat. It goes without saying that I am a handsome fellow, but then, most cats are. My large bone frame is covered by strong muscles. The excess fat that I carry is purely utilitarian. (I learned that word from my neighbor Bob. It means my fat serves a useful purpose. In this case, should a freak famine suddenly hit the Renton area, I could live off my own stores of fat for a quite a while.) Even with all of these lovely traits that make me, let's face it, an Adonis of the feline world, yet I hesitate to brag or boast. Instead I prefer to let others brag about me. So, you can imagine how surprised I was when Miss R. came home with........THE FURMINATOR! Finally, a grooming tool worthy of my time and attention. While I doubted that any improvements could be made to my flawless self, I welcomed the opportunity to have THE FURMINATOR used on my lovely coat. Boys and girls, I wouldn't believed it possible had I not witnessed it with my own eyes, but I am even more handsome than I was yesterday. Life is good.

Saturday, July 4, 2009


"And so you see, Oliver," Bob said in his professor's voice, the one he uses when he's lecturing me about something he believes I need to know. "What you and I and the rest of the animals living in the United States perceive as big and scary noises, booming sounds if you will, are really just joyous outbursts, expressions of gratitude that humans living in America feel for the freedoms... the liberties... they experience as citizens of this great nation. Does that answer your question?"

"Huh? What was that?" I grunted. I'd completely forgotten that I'd even asked Bob a question. Bob and I had both been drawn out onto our respective decks by the delicious smells of bacon, and ham and other fine edibles wafting up to our balconies from the barbecue pits in the nearby park. Now, normally I like nothing better than the smell of bacon frying on a griddle, but food smells coming from the park this early in the morning, and on a summer morning at that, can only mean one thing. Those terrifying booms and flashes of light are coming again tonight as soon as the sun goes down. Oh, how I fear those loud noises and those bright, fiery lights. Yet, humans, Miss. R. included, seem to enjoy these monstrous night lights. She actually walks out onto the dock near our apartment so she can get a closer look at them. A closer look! Can you imagine? That's what I had asked Bob. What was with those loud, scary light shows that happen every year around this time and why do humnas try to lure me to outside with the tantalizing smell of hotdogs and hamburgers? That's when Bob had launched into a totally, as far as I can tell, unrelated history lesson about the War for Independence and the Constitution and other such things. I tried to follow along at first, but I was sidetracked by the sight of potato chip bags being carried past my deck and into the park where they would be sadly out of my reach.

"Oliver, I asked you if my explanation answered your question," repeated Bob.

"Um, yeah, sure it did," I lied, more confused now than ever. "You know, Bob. One word you used really did catch my attention. Independence. That means freedom, right?"

"Indeed it does." Bob sounded pleased with himself, as though he were responsible for my learning something new.

"Well, if this holiday is all about freedom, why did Miss R. put up that insulting gate in our front door?"

"You mean the 'Baby Gate,?'" Bob snickered, clearly enjoying himself. "Well, that gate is meant to keep babies, ummm I mean, mischeivous felines, from escaping places. You see, Oliver, it gets hot this time of year, but Miss R. can never open her front door to let the cool air from the air-conditioned hallways into her apartment because you always shoot out of there like a fat, orange bullet. Now with the Baby Gate in place you are safely confined to your quarters. Brilliant! I must say, it seems your human is capable of some logical thoughts after all, my dear friend."

"Well, if you ask me, it's totally iconic....being trapped in an apartment by a Baby Gate on the same day the rest of the country celebrates freedom."

"I think you mean ironic, my friend, but then do you really want to be let outside. After all, I think I see someone about to light one of those fiery things now."

"Later, Bob," I said as I squished my puffy self through that too tiny pet door and ran for cover under the safety of Miss R.'s bed.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Weekly Letter

June 19, 2009
Dear Kids,
I can't believe the school year is almost over. What an adventure it has been. Why, if it hadn't been for you, I might never have become famous in the blogosphere. I will miss you and your comments full of wisdom and, in the case of Agent 86, sarcasm.
I am curious. What has been your favorite part of second grade? What advice about what to expect in second grade do you have for this year's first graders ? What will you miss most? To what are you looking forward in third grade? And, what are your summer plans?
I myself will be enormously busy this summer. (And, no fat jokes about the word "enormously" please.) I plan to spend a lot of time napping in sun beams, followed with more naps next to my food dish, followed with more food, followed by naps, then food, then more food, then naps. I like to end my busy days with a senseless, wild rampaging romp tearing mindlessly around the apartment before I collapse in some random spot. Miss R. always seems to be trying to figure out why I tear about the apartment for several minutes like a Tazmanian Devil every night. The funny thing is.....there is no reason. I just like to keep her guessing!
PS Have a great summer!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Happy Birthday, Junies!

Miss Rotz informs me that quite a few of the kids in Room 203 have birthdays this month. I can't believe so many of you are turning 8! Soon you won't be Human Kittens anymore. Tell me. How do Human Kittens celebrate their birthdays? I'm curious as a cat. (Get it?) Do you eat yummy tuna-salmon birthday cakes? Do you get new catnip toys? Do your friends come over and take naps in the sun? Even if you're birthday isn't this month, I'd love to read about your best birthday ever!

PS A very special Happy Birthday to Kai in Mrs. M's class. Kai turned 10 yesterday. Double digits, way to go!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dedicated to Student #3

This is for everyone to enjoy, even though it's way past Easter, but it's especially for C.B. who often asks to see the
Chocolate Bunny Attack! @ Yahoo! Video
">Attack of the Chocolate Bunnies

Friday, May 15, 2009

Weekly Letter

May 15, 2009

Dear Kids,

How was Young Authors Day? I'm so glad it finally came. YAD is one of Miss R.'s favorite days of the school year, and she has been impossible to live with these last few weeks because she was so anxious for it.
Which of the three sessions did you like the best and why? Which is your favorite book Ted Arnold? Hmmmm....I've just reading them myself, so I'll have to get back to you on which book I like best.

A Relaxing Start to the Weekend

Aaaah.....there is nothing, and I mean nothing, like the sweet smell of a sweaty shoe fresh off the feet of your favorite human. Thank goodness, Miss R. has such big feet so I can cram my head completely inside her favorite footwear and get a full, relaxing whiff. Heaven.
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Thursday, April 16, 2009

April 16, 2009

April 17, 2009

Dear Kids,

Did you all enjoy your spring breaks? What did you all do? I admit it was nice having Miss R. around for a few extra days. I rather like having a mean, a servant at my beck and call. Lately, she has really gotten rusty, and by rusty I really mean lazy.

Take this morning for example. Miss R. usually gets up before 5AM so she can squeeze in some time on the treadmill. I don't mind giving her a little treadmill time as long as she remembers to feed me first! Well, this morning, Miss R. decided to sleep in while I nearly starved to death next to my half-empty food dish. I figured she might need some help waking up, so I ever so generously began to meow. Do you know how that lazy girl responded? She growled, yes growled, at me. "Oliver, knock it off. There's plenty of food in your dish. Eat what you've got or wait until I get up." The nerve! I needed to remind her who was boss. I started shoving my food dish across the kitchen floor making sure to hit all the walls and the garbage can, making as much noise as possible. "OOOOOLLLLLIIIIIVVVVVEEEEER!!!" screamed Miss R. Well, that got her attention.

"Meow," I gently replied. I listened for the pitter patter of human feet moving towards the cat food. Instead I heard........SNORING?!?!?!?!?!?!? How dare she go back to sleep. It was time to teach the teacher a lesson. I was going to take Miss R. to school. I walked over to the welcome mat near the front door and I did what any wise cat would do in my position. I pooped. Then I waited for Miss R. to smell my anger and come running out of her room. Hah! It worked. "OOOOLLLLIIIVVVVVEERR!!!!!" she bellowed. Well, at least now I was getting the recognition I deserved. As she rounded the corner and came storming into the front entry way, I sensed perhaps a little anger on her part. OK. I sensed a lot of anger. Time to hightail it out of there. Like a fat, orange bullet, I shot pasther into her room and out the pet door. I waited until I was sure she had cleaned up the stinky remains of my indignation before I sauntered back into the kitchen. I looked at her face to see if she was still angry. Hhhhmmmm. She wasn't happy. That was for sure. I tried a pitiful, little, "Mieeuuuw?"

"Fine," she grumbled as she mixed my Fancy Feast in with dry cat food. Finally! I quickly gobbled my morning feast. Miss R. went back to bed and was sleeping in no time flat. I waited until I was sure she was completely out and then jumped onto her face to let her know how much I appreciated her slave you can no doubt tell by this morning's disappointing mealtime, Miss R. needs a lot more training if she's going to be any use as my Wait until summer vacation. I'll whip her into shape then.



Friday, March 27, 2009

Weekly Letter

March 27, 2009
Dear Kids,
Are you enjoying getting ready for Young Authors' Day? Miss R. has told me about it in years past and it seems like sooooo much fun, especially the BBQ.....mmmmm BBQ. What ideas do you have for stories?

I'm thinking of writing my own Young Authors' Day story, I think, perhaps, a fable. Of course, I'll need to think of a moral first. I'm tossing around some different ideas in my furry, little brain, but I'm thinking, Bigger is better! Heee hee hee. That's me all over. I'm definitely bigger which makes me, I like to think, a bit better because, hey, there's more of me to love. Now to think of a problem and a solution to support my moral. Hmmmm. This is harder than I thought. I need to take a break from all this hard thinking and writing and maybe eat a donut. Mmmmmm donuts.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Welcome Spring!

Friday, March 20, 2009
Dear Kids,
I see by the calendar that today is officially the first day of spring. I wish someone would tell the weatherman that, because it still kind of looks like winter to me. If I had to pick a second favorite season of the year, I think I would pick spring because summer is my favorite season. Still, spring is rather wonderful in its own way. From my spot on the deck and I can usually see all the baby ducklings swimming in the lake. They're so adorable! Sometimes, if it's warm enough, I can even see the turtles sunning themselves on the rocks in the lake. I like turtles. They understand the beauty of a nap in the sun. What season do you like best? Why?



Monday, March 16, 2009

Happy St Patrick's Day

Bob and I were sitting out on our decks this morning hoping for a little sun. Kitty, Bob's Valentine's Day "gift" from his owner, was no where to be seen. She refuses to come outside if even a single cloud dots the sky. "I don't want to get my fur wet," she whines. That's just as well. I've been a little embarrassed about running into her ever since I gave her that Valentine's Day poem last month. I'm not sure she liked it as much as I thought she would.

"Bob," I began. "I was pawing through Miss Rotz's shopping bags the other day and saw she bought a green T-Shirt. I wondered if maybe it was for me because she doesn't usually wear THAT shade of green."

"First of all, you shouldn't be pawing through your human's things, Oliver. It gives us felines a bad name," Bob warned. He's always telling me what I should or shouldn't be doing. I needed to change the subject fast.

"How do you think I'd look in a green shirt?" I asked.

"I doubt it's for you," replied Bob. "I suspect your human intends to wear it tomorrow in honor of St. Patrick's Day."

"St. Patrick's Day. What's that?" I wanted to know.

"Well," began Bob, "In the 5 century ...."

Oh bother! Why did I even ask? I could tell Bob was getting ready for one of his really long lectures so I just tuned him out and watched a butterfly twitter about on my deck. I briefly entertained the idea of chasing the butterfly, but realized it would take way too much energy. I returned my thoughts to Bob who was muttering something about a voyage to Ireland. Hmmm. I thought maybe I should at least try to pay attention to what Bob was saying about St. Patrick, but decided to watch the jet skiers on the lake instead. It seemed kind of cold to be out on the lake today but.....

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO A WORD I'M SAYING," shouted Bob. Yikes! He caught me.

"Yes, of course," I lied. "You were talking about....oooh, Miss Rotz is home. I better see if she brought anything good to eat. Later, Bob!"

"I'm on to you!" sreamed Bob from his deck as I tried to squeeze my way through the cat door on my deck. So much for a quick getaway. "Next time we meet I'll be expecting you to tell me five things you remember from my well-researched lecture on St. Patrick. Five things. You hear me, Oliver?!?!"
"Five things," I gasped as I at last heaved myself through the cat flap. Honestly, I do believe that thing is shrinking in size!

But, oh man, I'm in trouble now. I wasn't paying any attention to Bob at all. That's why I'm posting this today, kids. I need you to do some research and find out some facts about St. Patrick so I have something to share with Bob. Do any of you out there know anything at all about the St. Patrick or the holiday or anything? Help me! I need some answers quick or Bob is going to be lecturing me all over again about the importance of staying focused and paying attention and.....ooh look...another pretty butterfly.....

Friday, February 27, 2009

That Is SO NOT Me!

All right...all right. I get that Miss R. thinks I need to take my diet seriously. I know that she's worried for my health and well-being and that she doesn't exactly appreciate my tendency to throw things around the apartment whenever I panic at the sight of the bottom of my food dish. Still, did she have to post THIS video to my blog? I mean, really. That cat looks nothing like me! AND.....I've never really gotten stuck in my pet door. It just takes me a bit longer than some cats to squeeze through. I see I'm going to have to write Miss R. a strongly worded letter of complaint. Of all the cheeky.....

Friday, February 20, 2009

February 20, 2009

Dear Kids,

I have so been enjoying all your comments. You really are pretty smart, especially for humans!

I see from your weekly letters that you're reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by Mr. C.S. Lewis who is one of my favorite writers. Who is your favorite character? I'm particularly fond of the hero, Aslan. You know, I don't like bragging, but lots of humans and felines have pointed out that I bear a striking similarity to the novel's main hero. Adjectives used to describe Aslan can also be used to describe me. We're both feline, noble, handsome, brave, beautiful, big, and loving. Nonetheless, I really don't like to brag.



Friday, February 13, 2009

Valentine's Day

My upstairs neighbor, Bob, received his Valentine's Day gift a little early this year.  His human worried that Bob might be lonely while he was away at work all day so he brought home a new kitty whose name, coincidentally, is Kitty.  Bob had been hoping for the complete collection of Bunnicula books, so when Kitty showed up instead,  well you can imagine how bitterly disappointed Bob became.  From the way he described her, I pictured someone wretched-looking. You can imagine my surprise then when Kitty finally got over her shyness and strolled out to join Bob on her deck.  Bob just rolled his eyes at her sudden appearance, but I could not stop staring at her from where I was sunning myself on my own deck.  Blame it on the holiday, but the way the sun shone like a halo around her....  well, see for yourself.  She's simply stunning!  I am determined to win her over and I think I've discovered just the way to do it.  I'm going to recite beautiful poems to her.  I found this lovely Valentine's Day poem written by someone named Myra Cohn Livingston and I've been working on memorizing it.  Kitty doesn't stand a chance!
An Angry Valentine

If you won't be my Valentine
I'll scream, I'll yell, I'll bite.
I'll cry aloud, I'll start to whine
If you won't be my Valentine.
I'll frown, I'll fret, I'll mope and pine and
It will serve you right---
If you won't be my Valentine
I'll scream, I'll yell, I'll Bite!!
-Myra Cohn Livingston

On the off chance that things don't work out with Kitty, I may just have to marry I.L. instead. She's a student in Miss R.'s class who gave me the most delicious Valentine favorite canned cat food!  Miss R. didn't even get me anything, but luckily I.L. remembered me.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Inauguration Day

Every four, or in some cases, eight years, Americans watch as a newly elected President is sworn into office. It's an exciting time as people wonder, "What will the next four years bring?" Alas, for me, this new leadership brings no such hope. You see, I voted for a candidate whose name was unfairly kept off the ballots. That's right. I voted for a true American hero, Garfield the cat. You see, unlike the more traditional HUMAN candidates, Garfield offered real hope to those of us who are decidedly more feline in our politics. Garfield understood that truly great leaders nap for at least 16 hours a day. When they're not napping, great leaders are eating because food is that important. Finally, Garfield has never been afraid to turn to available resources, and by available resources I mean television, for wisdom in making important decisions. And now, if you'll excuse me, I think I will go drown my sorrows in a gallon of ice cream!

Friday, January 16, 2009

On Appreciation

Dear Kids,
You're so lucky you get to read such great books. I really enjoy Roahld Dahl. Matilda is great, but Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorites. Imagine, a book dedicated to chocolate! Does reading get any better? I admit Mr. Wonka seems a bit strange, but you know what they say! "A genius is never appreciated in his or her own time." I think that's why no one has yet built a statue of me. I must be such a genius that I am not appreciated at all.

What was your favorite part of the book?


Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

At least, I can still wish YOU a happy 2009. I fear the new year will hold no such joy for me. You see, Dear Readers, my human Miss R. has done something horrible. I know. It's hard to believe. She seems so nice. Yet, last night while she was thinking of New Year Resolutions she said a very bad word. A naughty word. A word I hoped never to hear. That's right, my Human Kittens. Miss R. said...." Diet!" And she wasn't just talking about herself. No, indeed. Miss R. is putting, fluffy me... on a diet! Oh, the horrors! It's simply unimaginable! Nonetheless, I have evidence....proof solid....of this wretched crime! I found the diet cat food in the cupboard. She's been secretly mixing it with my Christmas Fancy Feast for a week, hoping I wouldn't notice and that I would become accostumed to the taste when she completed the switch. Sooo devious. I'm seriously thinking about going on a hunger strike until Miss R relents and goes back to my regular food. Yes, that's it. A hunger strike. Right after lunch. Mmmmmm....lunch.....mmmmm....Fancy Feast.