Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Bald and Beautiful

"All right, Oliver.  I pinkie swear promise not to laugh," said Bob but under his breath he added as if cats even have pinkies.  I ignored that.  "Tell me again why your tummy and, um, your rear are shaved smoother than a baby's bald head?"

"Well, there are quite a few reasons one would have to shave one's belly, " I retorted somewhat miffed.

"Really?  Name one."

Drat! He called my bluff.  "Well, to begin with, it's a fashion statement, very trendy. I predict cats everywhere will soon be shaving their bellies and their bottoms." I returned.

"Indeed," murmured Bob.  Sometimes he can be so smug!

"Also..." I paused, "...the vet needed to shave my belly so the radiologist could perform an ultrasound to determine what was wrong with me.  I was very sick." I tried my best to look pathetic.  It must've worked because Bob's expression grew softer.

"I am glad to see you back to your old self, friend.  You know, I was pretty worried about you."

"Thanks, Pal.  I am better.  The people at the Sunset Pet Hospital were really nice and they helped me to feel a lot better."

"I told you there was nothing to worry about.  Vets help animals." Bob smiled again and added, "So, what was wrong?  Did you ever find out?"

"Ummm.....yeah....it was....." I hesitated.  It was kind of embarrassing.  That's what it was.  "I was...ummm....that is to say.....Iwasconstipated." The last part came out in a rush, like it was one long word.

"Constipated?  Did I hear that right?"  Bob tried to hide a smirk but I could see it playing about his whiskers.

"You promised you wouldn't laugh," I reminded him.  "You promised."

"I'm not laughing.  I'm ummmm......coughing....that's right....I'm coughing."

Coughing?  I don't think so!  I guess I can't blame him for laughing, though.  I do look pretty silly all bald in places.  I have no one to blame but myself.  Maybe it really is time to start....uggghhh....I can barely say it.....dieting.  It wouldn't hurt to start eating a healthier diet, lose a few.  I don't know where to start.  Boys and girls, I need some healthy yet delicious recipes to help me get through this ordeal.  What's your favorite healthy recipe?  I need your tips.  I can't handle any more constipation jokes at my expense!


  1. Dear Oliver,
    I do not have recipes but you havae to start eating your food that Miss R. gives you or you can be sick again. But I can tell you what to buy. Tuna, fish, maybe brocilly, water, DIET CAT FOOD.

    BR #13

  2. Dear Oliver,
    I will tell you how to make a roll. First, you buy a weird thing which is a bread roll. Second, you buy cheese and ham. Third, you put the cheese and ham into roll. Fourth, you roll the roll like a sausage. Fifth, you bake it. And that is how to make a roll. My mom makes rolls like this. I hope you enjoy it.
    ES #17

  3. Tuna Salad
    1. salad
    2. nuts
    3. ranch dressing
    4. little bits of fish

    How to get it? Go to the store with Miss R. or go go fishing and get some fish.

    LS #19

  4. Tuna in a Can
    Open the can
    Put some tomatoes inside
    Add limes.
    Then squeeze some lemon on it.
    Then eat the tuna.
    RI #6

  5. Dear RI #6,
    Miss R. told me it was your birthday today. Youo had Hosotess cupcakes to celebrate. Are those on my diet?
    PS Happy Birthday

  6. Dear Oliver,
    I will tell you how to make a can of fish. You go fishing you catch a fish and put it in a can and voilá, you have tuna in a can. I hope ou like this recipe. I love Oliver.

  7. Oliver, I love your stories...
    Love DF #7

  8. Dear Oliver,
    You are so cute! You should really write your own young author's story. I can't wait to read it!

    Love NF #8